Some Other Beginning’s End – 3 Steps Toward Embracing Change

Semisonic’s alternative rock classic, Closing Time, has been playing on repeat in my mind’s iTunes Radio all summer.

“Closing time. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” ~Dan Wilson

Summer 2016 ushered in the end of preschool and 2nd grade for our boys, the final elite travel soccer game, and the sale of our town home. These “closing” events brought a lot of emotion. Our kids experienced some sadness and melancholy, especially over the sale of our home.

So did Mom and Dad.

As parents, Denise and I have reminisced about the “firsts” that took place in our home. Both boys learned to ride bicycles out back. I threw a football with Ephram for the first time and practiced soccer in the back yard. We had our first fight with a neighbor. Ah, the memories. But on July 29, we closed one chapter in life and moved forward to the next.

And we were excited!

New beginnings are exciting, but they are scary too. They are scary because they usually mark the end of something else. Something familiar and good. New beginnings are scary because change is scary. Why? Studies show that change stimulates your brain’s prefrontal cortex. That’s the area known to connect directly to a second area responsible for your fight or flight response. In other words, change can cause you stress manifested as fear, anxiety or even grief.

Years ago I saw a book called, Change is Good…You Go First. As much as we aspire to encourage change in our workplace and at home, change makes us uncomfortable. We champion others toward change, but when it’s our turn, we’d rather dine on raw worms.

If you’re one of the many worm-eaters out there, here are three steps that can move you toward embracing change.

• Take time to mourn. Remember, change can trigger feelings of grief in the subconscious. Be honest with yourself. Is there something you’ll miss as you embark on the new beginning? For instance, a new career can result in weaker or lost relationships. Give yourself ample time to mourn what’s been lost.
• Honor the past, but don’t live there. Our youngest started kindergarten today. The memories of the past five years flooded my mind as I watched him confidently step into the massive yellow bus this morning. I smiled remembering so many wonderful moments we’ve shared. It’s important for you to honor your past efforts and successes, but don’t get stuck playing the past in repeat. There is no need to recreate the past when more exciting times are yet to come.
• New beginnings are exciting, but not perfect. Once excitement grows for a new beginning, it’s easier to embrace change. But believer beware, change is messy, and new beginnings are not perfect. New careers, new relationships, new schools and new houses all have one thing in common- imperfection. The future isn’t always clear. Just recognizing this fact can set you free from numerous unfulfilled expectations as change unfolds in your life. Recognize the elements you can control, and be willing to let go of the ones you cannot.

Change is a departure from the comfortable; from the known.

A monarch caterpillar spends 2 weeks out of its 4 to 6 week life as a larvae. Think about that. A monarch spends one third to one half of his lifetime as a caterpillar. I don’t know how comfortable he feels in his skin, but after a 10 day metamorphosis (grandiose change) a beautiful orange and black butterfly emerges from his cocoon. Despite spending half of his life in the known, he takes flight for the new beginning and never looks back.

Believe in your future. Embrace change. Take flight. Don’t look back.

Question: What changes have been most difficult in your life? How did you move from fear and anxiety toward excitement? Comment below and help others to grow. 

The post Some Other Beginning’s End by Nathan A. Claycomb first appeared on NathanClaycomb.com. Enjoying what you’ve read? Subscribe in the upper right-hand sidebar to join me #fromwhereIsit.